Top Ten From Hell: Bizarre Games

Welcome to another Top Ten From Hell. Today, in celebration of beating two bizarre games, I'm going to do a very special Top Ten. Today's top ten will revolve around the Ten most bizarre, ball bustingly odd video games that I've played. I mean, how hard can that be?

10: Incredible Crisis: On paper, its not odd. A series of minigames, big deal, right? The first game: Dance aerobics that change into a disco inferno to impress your boss. Later, you give a "back massage" to her, too. Failing at cunnilin- I mean, messaging her back, she tries to kill you, then tries to rob a bank that your wife is in. All while your son is shrunk down to the size of a grasshopper and your daughter makes peace with aliens. Oh, and you fight a giant teddy bear in a jet fighter. All within a day. Who is this family, and why am I not in it?

9: Katamari Forever: The King of All Cosmos has been knocked out, and its up to the Prince to go into the Kings mind and gather his thoughts by playing levels from the past games. To replace the King, the Prince and his cousins make a depressed Robo-King, who doesn't even use the Royal We. While its standard Katamari fare, Robo-King makes it all the more strange due to his restraint in insulting you. That, and dodging flaming balls that spew from his head when you fail.

8: Dante's Inferno: While not weird at its core, the setting alone puts this game on the list. Hell as never looked so frightening in a video game. Nothing makes you want to lose weight more than seeing a guy's deformed face staring at you, then finding out that he has three heads as his tongues. Also, Cleopatra with her baby-spewing nipples of death. Yes, baby-spewing nipples. OF DEATH!

7: Wild 9: A platforming game that encourages you to torture your enemies with your RIG. How do you do that? By grinding them up, beating one with another, slamming him onto the ground, tossing him on to spikes then walking on him, spin him like a lasso, drown him... this game is sadistic, yet childish in execution. It's like playing a Bugs Bunny version of Manhunt.

6: Alan Wake: While the game is good, the story is confusing. Just when you think you have it, something changes. I will give kudos for introducing a plot point, and remembering it by the end of the game, but, seriously... WTH?

5: Silent Hill: Homecoming: You play as a soldier coming home to find his missing brother, only to find out that rich families have been sacrificing children to keep the city's god at bey. Now, you have to fight the children as they come back as giant dolls and human centipedes. Yeah, this is the weirdest game in the main franchise, but its still missing something.

4: Silent Hill 4: The Room: A game that not only encourages you to "stalk your neighbor," but pretty much requires you too. A subplot from Silent Hill 2 serves as this games plot, where you have to fight serial killer Walter Sullivan, whose ghost has locked you in his old apartment. You can only escape to the town via holes that lead you to a haunted "Otherworld." Where the game goes crazy, though, is towards the end, with the Giant Elaine Head. Oh, and the umbilical chord as a weapon. Yeah... this game's fucked up.

3: Chakan: The Forever Man: Listed as one of the hardest games on the Sega Genesis, Chakan had you playing as a guy who beats Death is a duel, therefore becoming immortal until he rids every universe of evil. You'll fight octopi, "man-oxes," and an H.R. Giger painting. What do you get when you beat the game? An hour glass because the developers forgot to put the real ending in the game. No joke, either. That's what happened.

2: Deadly Premonition: An FBI agent who talks to himself, a killer that can turn super Saiyan, and a town that is infested with crazy people and Joker faced shadows. You'll ask yourself, "why doesn't anyone see that York's crazy? Why doesn't he mention the 'zombies?'" Then you find out what's going on between bizarre murders, including a trap that strangles someone with wet silk, and (my "favorite") a woman giving a tour of a museum with her tongue cut out. Oh, did I mention that the last boss turns into a frog/troll doll?

1: Killer7: When the fact that you play as a guy with seven personalities isn't the weird part of your game, you know a games strange. You'll fight afro'ed terrorists, exploding clones of Gary Busey, duel an old pederast, fight an anime girl (and Power Rangers), and talk to a gimp... and that's only scratching the surface of how unusual this game is. By the time you know what's going on, you're left scratching your head at everything else. Killer7 is by far the weirdest game ever made, and probably will be for a long time.