Monday, November 30, 2009

Video Game Retrospective Preview

After going through my abundance of PS2 (and PS1) games, I've decided to do a new blog series: Video Game Retrospective. With this, I'll review games from the PC to PS2 era, both good and bad, and discuss the history behind them, and their legacy. Some of them will be obscure games, others will be recent classics. Here's what I have planned:

Without Warning (Capcom)
Loaded and Re-Loaded (Interplay)
The Nightmare Before Christmas: Oogie's Revenge (Capcom)
Kuon (Agetec)
Echo Night: Beyond (Agetec)
Darkwatch (Capcom)
Medal of Honor: Rising Sun (EA)
XIII (Ubisoft)

These are the first few. Again, no times on these because of school, work, and the car hunt. I will say that Without Warning should be here fairly soon.

Friday, November 27, 2009

I'd Like To Play A Game: The "Saw: The Video Game" Review

Developer: Zombie Studios
Publisher: Konami
Game: Saw

For a little background, Saw: The Game had a troubled development. It started off being developed by Brash Entertainment, but Brash went under. When this happened, Konami took the reigns. Konami, for those of you who don't know, where the geniuses (and I mean that mostly literally) behind the Silent Hill series. If you don't know this by now, I love Silent Hill... except that crappy sequel, Silent Hill 2, but that's a different story. When Konami took over publishing, the game was all ready near completion, and they went forward with the release date in early October. The question is, though, should it have been released, or is this a waste of time like Saw V?

The story takes place after the first Saw. You play as Detective Tapp, who Jigsaw fixed up from his gunshot wound, and trapped him in an abandoned mental asylum. Tapp must fight his obsession to catch Jigsaw, save the people he has "damaged" during his investigation (including Amanda from the series), and escape the asylum before being killed by others who are also trapped, and want the key sewed inside of him (and yet, no sepsis sets in, either). Other things hindering your progress are puzzles such as broken circuit boards and pipes that you have to align to drain gas out of the room.

The story is good by Saw standards. Where it falls apart, though, is the fact that the puzzles, which are randomly generated, are thrown in at points. About 25% of the time, I got a puzzle that was unsolvable due to having one too many pieces that I needed to get working, or on one instance, all the pipes aligned properly except for the last one. While that's annoying to say the least, it doesn't get in the way so much that the game is unplayable.

The controls take care of that, though. Movement and action buttons all work fine, but combat is a pain. I don't know if this was intended by story or if this was a glitch, but Tapp moves slowly when he attacks. Even with a light weapon, like a knife, he moves like he's in Jell-o. This means that before you complete the attack, the guy you're fighting hit you first, even if he's using a Nail-bat. What you'd have to do is press the "Attack mode" button, press attack, and run up to the guy while attacking. Even then, you'd be lucky to get the attack in without getting hurt first.

Graphically... what can I say? It uses the Unreal 3 engine... and its among the worst looking games I've seen with this engine, at least character-wise. All of the characters look the same, mainly because they all have the same "down-turned" nose that Billy the Puppet has. Animations are clunky and fake looking, and are downright unrealistic (no one moves their arms as much as these guys do when they talk). They come off as downright cartoony. In contrast, though, the backgrounds and atmosphere are done extremely well. You'd almost feel like you were in a Saw movie if it weren't for the people.

Finally, there's the voice acting. It's absolutely horrid. I was fighting a guy at one point who was calmly telling me that "There's a key inside you," and "This is the game. Let's go," all while he was chasing me with a timed trap on him. Only one person returned from the Saw cast, and that was Tobin Bell. He's the redeeming quality in the voice work, and without him, it wouldn't be a Saw game. But, it makes you think, what was Shawnee Smith doing that she couldn't voice Amanda?

All in all, this isn't a bad game, especially for fans of Saw. But, for anyone else, they may see a game with lackluster graphics, repetitive and annoying puzzles, and bad voice acting. It's easy to pass by, even if you are a horror fan, but give it a rental or wait for it to be available for $20. Trust me, that shouldn't take long.

Overall: C

+All right game play
+ Good story
- Bad combat
-Repetitive puzzles...
- ... that are unsolvable at times.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Venting or Just Composing Myselves.

Ironically, while I'm deep in thought, I'm listening to Billy Corgan screaming about how bad the world is ("Tales of a Scorched Earth" from Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness). But, it could be worse, it could be Jonathan Coultan's "Baby Got Back."

As some of you know, I was in a car accident last week. I'm all right, but my car may be totaled, leaving me to look for a new car. Though, admittedly, I thought I was going to die, thus making me enjoy what I have even more. The only thing is, I feel like a chump bumming rides off of my friends, and I'm trying to hurry and find a cheap car. In the meantime, Christmas is coming up (no, I'm not asking my parents for a new car, I'm not spoiled :P), making the timing worse and better at the same time. I don't have to deal with the idiots on Black Friday, but my Thanksgiving plans are shot to hell in a hand basket. Okay, not that I really had plans in the first place, but if I did, they would be.

But, on the good end, other my health, I have some amazing friends. Jim gave me a ride back from school, and has done a lot of other things to help me through this that words can't express how thankful I am to have him as a friend. Kev, Tim, Joe, Heather, Aaron, and Tyra have been helpful as well, whether they know it or not. On the other end, Patty has been her usual crazy self, even when she's insightful (going so far as to point out that it was me driving carefully that got me in the accident). Jenna has been my financial advisor, as well as a good person to vent to. Finally, Binkie, whose first reaction was, "Oh dear God, please tell me you're all right!" then "Tell me that the other driver is all right, too," worrying about the car least of all. To be fair, that was my Mom's same reaction, too, but this goes to show why I love Bink, as well.

As well as the crash, I had my final project in my Design Techniques class to worry about. In fact, that's why I was driving on the roads in the morning! I got part of it done, but I couldn't finish all of it (I was doing a DVD case and slip for a fake movie company, and I only finished the booklet). Luckily, my teacher knew that no one would finish it, and said she would take that into account (what with the schedule changes and the move and all). On top of that, my Illustration project was in my car when it was towed, so I had to reprint that and turn it in without the thumbnails (luckily, that teacher understood the circumstances).

My point is that I am immensely thankful for everyone who has been there this past week. You're the best friends a guy could have, and probably more than I deserve (especially Binkie, who I've tormented time and again since I met her).

The other thing, I've had a lot of time to play with our new toy (Bink and I bought a PS3 before the accident, when we thought we would be financially secure), and I'll have some more reviews up soon! Here's what will follow:

Uncharted: Drake's Fortune
Killzone 2
The LittleBIGPlanet Journal (My thoughts on aspects of the games)
Resistance: Fall of Man

I won't put dates up because I don't know when they'll be up, but keep checking here (my blogspot for my LJ users).

Saturday, November 21, 2009

The Top Ten From Hell: Dumbest Movie Moments in Horror Movies

Top Ten from Hell time. This time, I'll be covering the top 10 dumbest moments from horror movies. This is different from the weirdest moments because the scenes in this could make sense, but be absolutely stupid. Without further ado:

10: The sex scene in Cthulhu: I know I'm going to this movie in every review and top 10, but I have to due to the fact that this movie is the worst movie I've ever seen. The gay sex scene that appears for no reason other than to have a sex scene... which is reason for any movie to have a sex scene anyway. What makes this dumber, though, is the fact that scene comes from so far from left field, that the current writers of House, M.D. would be confused. And they've been coming up with more nonsensical plot lines than Dr. Seuss has written nonsense words.

9: "...Place your bets!!!" from Freddy vs Jason: The movie made no sense anyway, but the scene that tops it is Monica Keena growling "Freddy versus Jason: PLACE. YOUR. BETS!" I guess they needed to put the title of the movie in the movie... but the line is so over the top cheesy you could get constipation from it.

8: The ending of My Bloody Valentine 3D: It's a pet peeve of mine when its exposed that the main character is the movie villain. My Bloody Valentine 3D makes this pet peeve even worse. Why? Because for it to be true, Jensen Ackles' character would have to be in two places (sometimes three or four) at once for him to be the bad guy. I guess he could clone himself... or this was bad writing. I think its the latter.

7: Goth guy hitting on his sister in Tromeo and Juliet: ... I won't even dignify this with why. You can figure this one out.

6: The neck breaking kick from Orphan: A sedated, beaten up woman kicks a 34 year-old woman so hard, her neck breaks. There is NO WAY THIS WOULD WORK! Do you realize how much force would have to be applied to do this? More than a sedated, beaten up, tired woman who was put into a drug induced coma five hours before could ever do.

5: The Ending of The Forgotten: Seriously? Aliens made the entire populace of the word forget about one kid, except for his mother? And they're advanced?! Isn't that a huge flaw in their plan? You know, one that they may try not to overlook?

4: Danny's Imaginary Friend from The Shining (1984): Moving your finger does not activate your imaginary friend. And if he is a little boy that lives in your mouth... you may need a psychiatrist. And lots of thorozine.

3: The girl who puts her hands in the razor covered sleeves in Saw II: If you look at the top of the screen, the padlock with the key in it is obviously visible. Yet, she shoves in her hands in the sleeves, with razor blades cutting into her arm. Way to pay attention, dork-bitch.

2: "Trevor doesn't want a Yee-yee" from The Nun: The line doesn't make sense at all. Who's Trevor? What's a Yee-yee? And what is Trevor's problem with this "Yee-yee" thing? And why does a 17 year-old have a fucking gun?!

1: The Parrot guy from Day Watch: To put this in perspective, NightWatch had Olga, a woman cursed to become an owl. Day Watch has a parrot that becomes a man wearing a bright green jacket and pants, a bright pink shirt, and pink sunglasses. And all he does is scream. Why? Because... ah, fuck it. I have no clue other than the movie writers were either high or suffered a severe case of writer's block and had a pet parrot that screamed constantly. Either way, its a scary thought.

Monday, November 16, 2009

"Editorial" Explanation of My Impressions of MW2

A lot of people were up in arms for the past two weeks with a few things. There was the Fort Hood shooting, which is indeed a valid reason to be up in arms (though for some, the wrong reason, meaning not the shootings themselves). But, the normally ridiculous thing was a level in Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 that involved you playing as a CIA operative during an undercover operation in a terrorist unit, shooting in an airport, killing innocents. But, there are two questions: Was the level necessary? and Was the killing in it called for?

Well, here are my answers (and my opinion): No and no. But, its not for the reasons you may be thinking. I saw someone playing this level, and I will say this: it does what it's supposed to, and that's show you the atrocities of terrorism. Might I add that this level does it well, too, but to an extent. Yes, you witness the death of hundreds of people, civilians and police alike, and you do take part in this... but you can choose when you do. What this amounts to is the player going through the level without firing a shot until a certain where you have to defend yourself.

If you ask me, this is actually counter productive for the message. I am not saying that they should've made it so that you had to kill innocent people, although, oddly enough, that would've pushed the message across more accurately, but that'd be way too overboard. For everything that is shown in the game, it might as well be a cutscene until the last five minutes of the level, because, for those of us who wouldn't want to kill innocents (like myself), that's essentially what it is.

In the question of the killing, that's a little harder to answer, but I still have to say "no." This isn't "no" meaning that the level is in it of itself senseless violence, quite the contrary. Again, it makes you sick, ergo, it did its job. Instead, the killing is senseless in the meaning that, again, you aren't the one doing the killing. No matter what you, no one survives. Again, this goes to making it more of a cutscene, which would've had the same, if not a slightly diminished but still effective, message. It seems that the message, though, with everyone dying no matter what is that you can't save them (true, due to the nature of the mission, I realize), instead of one showing the pain and trauma of terrorism.

Ironically, what Infinity Ward set out to do comes out as a completely different message. Its supposed to show the horror of what the terrorists do, by making you go undercover as one of them. Instead, it comes out as a cutscene (one you can choose to interact in, and still not kill noncombatants) that shows more or less just killing, and the terrorism seems as backdrop. Its there, don't get me wrong, but for what it was, several games have done this better, i.e. Manhunt, or Without Warning, both on the Playstation 2.

If they wanted to show the horrors of terrorism, they should have had you play as an unarmed civilian, running through the airport, trying to save himself, but ultimately failing. Towards the end, each step gets harder and harder, each breath is more labored. You look down, and see your chest is blood red as you collapse. With your last breath, you see one of them point his gun at you --bang-- the screen goes black. I bet your feeling sick and horrified at just thinking about that. Isn't that the point, though?

In fact, Modern Warfare the first did something like that. The player's helicopter crashes after a nuclear missile detonates. After it lands, you have one objective: get help. First thing you do is collapse, then crawl until you die. It's frightening, and effective, more so, I feel than MW2's level. But I guess they couldn't compete with that.

Friday, November 13, 2009

Dead Space: Extraction in 5 words or less

Really? That's how you end it?

Seriously, it was good until the last mission.