Halloween Mega Review PT 2: Top Ten From Hell: Top Ten Weirdest Scenes in Movies

Time for a Top Ten From Hell. Today's Topic is the Top 10 Weirdest Scenes From Horror Movies. Why so specific? Because there are a lot of Horror movies with parts that don't make sense. To get on the list, though, the scene has to be disturbing, bizarre, or just not make any sense, or a good combination. As a stipulation, I only use each movie once. Without further ado:

10: The Cockroach eating head from Tomie: I love me some J-Horror, and Tomie (to-MI-ae) is no exception. Its about the soul of a girl named (let me think here) Tomie who possesses women to steal their lovers and drive people crazy, and while the body can die, Tomie's spirit regenerates the body, making it seem that the body is immortal. In the beginning of the movie, a guy is carrying Tomie's head back to his home, where he feeds her cockroaches. Yes, cockroaches. Why? I don't know. One thing is for sure, Tomie will eat anything.

9: "Because You Were Home," from The Strangers: Possibly the most laugh inducing horror movie ever, The Strangers tries to make people scary again by putting three people in masks, and having them cause terror to people who are home. Why would the do that, you ask? "Because you were home." Well, no shit. I doubt you would have tortured me if I was in Sandusky... stupid fucking moron. The Strangers, only bothering you if your home; otherwise, its too much work.

8: The five minute scene of screaming from The City of Lost Children: The French made a horror/fantasy movie that was so good, that it's hard to find anywhere. The City of Lost Children was a cult classic about a scientist who couldn't dream, so he tried to steal those of children. Instead, he forced the children to have nightmares, pushing him further into depression. You wouldn't get that from the beginning when he awakes from a nightmare, screaming. This makes ten other people in the room scream for a straight five minutes. By the time it ends, you're scratching your head trying to figure out what the hell just happened. I'll tell you what happened, you walked in on his personal time. The City of Lost Children, making men scream for long periods of time.

7: "Run, rabbit, run!" from House of 1000 Corpses: Let alone that there were only fifty corpses in the movie, this scene doubles as the weirdest and scariest scene of the movie. The main character is dressed as a rabbit while Otis screams "Run, rabbit, run!" over and over again as Baby chases her through a cemetery that the Firefly family created. I would repeat that, but the visual image of a psychotic woman chasing you in a rabbit costume should make you scratch your head enough as it is...

6: The ending of Saw V: What in the hell was the twist? Hoffman is Jigsaw now, we get it. That stopped being a twist in the fourth movie when you said it. This brings us to:

5: Hoffman being Jigsaw's apprentice from Saw IV: Oh, yes, there will be--huh? Here's the background, Hoffman was introduced as a forensic tech in Saw III, where he had one line. In Saw IV, he's a detective, despite not being anything but a forensic tech in the first place. Oh, and he was also helping Jigsaw the whole time, making the fact that he's working at the crime scenes ENTIRELY POINTLESS! Why? Because, if he was a detective, why was he working as a forensics tech (or vice verse), and wouldn't people notice that certain files on certain people were missing under HIS NAME, or that evidence was missing. SAW IV and V, make less sense than a psychic prediction of the Browns winning the Super Bowl.

4: Hellraiser: Bloodlines; The entire movie: Like Saw V, retcon the first movies, because they never happened, by telling a boring nonsensical story. Imagine if Lewis Carroll wrote a third Alice book where Alice never went to Wonderland, but instead was thrown into an orphanage because she burned her house down. Wait, that's American McGee's Alice, and a different rant...

3: Sadie taking off her shirt upon seeing two unknown teenage girls in Last House on the Left: The movie sucked, but this scene takes the cake. Sadie walks into a hotel room with her psycho boyfriend, sees two teenaged girls that she's never seen before, and decides to take her shirt off, showing that her "breasts are perky, yes?" (Thank you Not Another Teen Movie). The logic is baffling. She did this to... put her shirt back on... *facepalm* Well, at least she doesn't have a fight scene where she somehow wrestles a man twice her size, coming out ahead, while topless. Actually, yes she does... DAMN YOU MOVIE!

2: Russ picking up a cat and rubbing it with his chin from Cthulhu: You knew this movie had to be on here, what with a date rape scene that was entirely pointless, the "rampant homosexual" scene, a gay sex scene that had nothing to do with the movie, and of course, this. Let me explain this again, the camera shows a full body shot, exposing the ground is empty from Russ to the boat house. It zooms in, and he pulls a big fat orange cat from thin air, and nuzzles it with his chin, mouth agape. He does this for fifteen minutes before putting the cat down, at which time the camera zooms out, and the cat is gone. Magic cat is magic. Fail movie is fail.

1: The Giant Penis Monster from Tromeo and Juliet: I'll blow the surprise for you (no pun), this was going to be my surprise movie review to make up for missed time, but I couldn't make it past this point. Don't get me wrong, it's better than Cthulhu, but the idea of the movie (and its condoning of spousal abuse) was horrifying. But, the Giant Penis Monster from Juliet's dream is just the worst thing I've seen. Keep in mind that I was debating using this, Juliet looking like an 11 year old (and she has five full frontal scenes which thankfully I didn't watch), and Juliet turning into a cow with a three foot long penis... you know what?

1: Tromeo and Juliet: Why? Because it just doesn't make sense.

For now, I'm the window keeping signing off... and avoiding anything with "Troma" in it.