Brain Junkfood: What's Wrong With This?: Lollipop Chainsaw

I have one question for people after seeing this image: If this is the look of people who like this game, would you want to associate with them?

I, for the life of me, cannot understand several things:

1: Why people who don't believe in God say "God Bless You" after you sneeze.
2: Why vegetarians chastise people who eat meat for being unhealthy, when a lot of the time, they don't realize they need vitamin supplements.
3: Why people who can't tell the truth call everyone else liars.
4: Why Hugh Jackman, at 6'2", played Wolverine, who is 5'3".
5: Why people like Lollipop Chainsaw.

I'm saying this as a Suda 51 fan, too. I loved Killer7 and Shadows of the Damned up until its ending. Sure, I hated No More Heroes. but I felt that was more due to hype than actual flaws. Oh, and the trainer/rapist. Yeah... that guy...

But, why hate this game, his most normal game of all time? I mean, it's about a cheerleader who hunts monsters. What's wrong with that? So it's not brimming with originality, but either is Call of Duty. The most unusual thing about her is her decapitated boyfriend. She professes her love for his disembodied head. Oh, I'm sorry! Decapitated head. Apparently, his head had a head.

Let's talk about her for a second. There is a conflicting message when the character who tells you not to look up her skirt constantly bends over to show her underwear. Of course, she's trying to be a spoof of the feminist role model, with such lines as, "My mom shows why we wear our vaginas proudly." This is only funny to people who think that the show "Ugly Americans" is funny when every character says the word intercourse in the same nasal voice. The entire game's humor is like this. It tries too hard to be over the top. Let me put it this way, would you laugh if some random guy walked up to you, and started singing the chorus to Rammstein's song "Pussy" over and over and over. It's funny in context of the song, but out of thin air, it's stupid.

And now, that song's going to be stuck in my head. Well... fuck.

In speaking of music, only one joke comes to mind that does work. I killed a boss zombie, and he said "I have that Katy Perry song stuck in my head. Oh, what a terrible way to die!" The only reason I found that funny is because I felt sorry for the poor bastard. I also felt sorry for the bodyless boyfriend because he was the only likable character in the game. Your character, Juliet, is just so damned bubbleheaded and cliche, that she sets women in video games back further than the new Tomb Raider game does with its camera angles and overtly sexually designed "not rape" (you're not fooling anyone Crystal Dynamics). I mean the game makes her so much of a stereotype of the stupid cheerleader in skimpy clothes (including an unlockable string bikini that barely covers a damned thing), that she makes the Dead or Alive games seem like a step forward. And that's including the volleyball games.

Wait... what? WHAT?! Are you fucking kidding me?! This is being praised by feminists. Why? Well if you didn't read the article, let me sum it up. The male lead is emasculated, there for it's good for feminists. I could see the argument for her facing her body dysmorphic disorder head on and plowing through zombies. But, no, it's because Nick's head is cut off against his own will, and Juliet forces him to do things he doesn't want to do. She's, in a way, raping him. This isn't feminism. This in misandry. This is no better than the shit a lot of women feel like their put through by men.

I know at least one person is going to say, "Doesn't feel good, does it?" I'm not going to dignify that with response, mainly because I always knew that. The only response that will get is a, "Fuck you in the the cervical vertebrae, you crossbreed of a donkey punching bitch and a santorum drinking baboon."

This isn't feminism. I learned from a friend that done right, feminism is humanism. It's equal rights for all genders, not just women. It isn't just that women are better taken care of, but also acknowledging that these things can happen to everyone irregardless of gender. Both women and men face sexism. Men can get raped. Good feminism sets out to right these wrongs in anyway legally that they can. This game isn't feminism. It's absolute garbage. Immature, half-baked garbage. Suda 51, what were you thinking?

Oh, James Gunn wrote the game. James Gunn, the same guy who wrote Tromeo and Juliet, the movie with the man picking up pieces of his brain and placing them in his skull. The man who wrote the three foot penis monster into a movie. The man who though having Juliet's father beat his wife and sexually abuse her was "funny."

Yeah, he's really who we should take as a feminist role model, people. He's about as good at that as a porn star would be good for talking about abstinence. Or Todd McFarlane standing up for copyright issues.

In the end, this game needs to be given the ET treatment. Every copy needs to get recalled, and buried in a landfill. That landfill, then needs to be jettisoned into space, from which it'll be sent back to us from more intelligent life with a note that says, "We'll be there shortly to destroy your planet. Not because we need resources, but because we want to show you what our brain cells felt while they were dying."