Riddle Me This: How Much Should I Pay For Having The Joker Mentioning Wearing a Thong?

Review time again, kiddies!

Developer: Rocksteady

Publisher: Eidos

Game: Batman: Arkham Asylum

There is a point in the game where Scarecrow gasses you and Joker asks: "What are you most afraid of? Failure to catch criminals? Deaths of loved ones? Me-- IN A THONG?!" The line cracks you up, but does not in anyway make you forget that your playing in a serious game. You are throat deep in psychotic inmates, the city is in danger, and to top it all off, not one but FIVE of your worst enemies has it out for you. This is a night in the life of Batman, and not your usual one either.

I'm usually reluctant to buy into hyped, "big-named" titles, mainly because by the time I play them, I've played something better. People have fond memories of "Resident Evil," I was scared shitless by "Silent Hill." Boys wanted to be Dante and hunt demons, I wanted to be Kratos, and destroy mythology. The lone exception to this has been "Bioshock," and that game made "Doom 3" look like drivel... (OK... so it kind of was in a way, but it was still a good game). But, when I heard the concept, I was on board for the ride. Batman locked in Arkham with the Joker. Fine. Kevin Conroy, Mark Hamill and Arleen Sorkin voicing Batman, Joker, and Harley. Holy Nerdgasm!

As I said, Joker takes over Arkham, lets almost every inmate free, and takes control of the island, leaving Batman to stop him. On top of that, Riddler wants you to try to prove that you are smarter than him, Scarecrow wants to scare you for his experiment, Poison Ivy wants to save her "babies," and Croc wants to... eat you. Hey, we can't all have intelligent schemes (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2FuAuWgZmQM). The entire game takes place through out the asylum, and you'll do some back tracking, but by the time you do, the area has changed drastically. This keeps the game from getting monotonous, and is extremely effective.

A lot of people compare the game to "Bioshock," but for the wrong reasons. The story is somewhat similar, but there is no twist in the game. Instead, you fight hordes of henchmen, sometimes having to be a silent predator, and occasionally face your fears. The one gripe is the predator parts, mainly because the difficulty isn't gradual enough. You start fighting four guys and being able to hide by swinging from gargoyle to gargoyle. Halfway through the game, you face eight guys, and they rigged the gargoyles to explode when you perch on them, or someone sees you, even though his back is turned. This could be because stealth games aren't my forte, though.

The game looks nothing like the Unreal engine at some points, and this is good. Joker and Scarecrow shouldn't look super buff, and thanks to the design team, they look right. But, some of the concept art for the bios... since when did Dr. Hugo Strange have biceps the size of his chest? At least Penguin looks like a human instead of a mutated Danny DaVito. This isn't to say that the main bosses all look good, though. Croc looks like a lizard (ichthyosis isn't that extreme without being deadly), and Bane looks like a Mardi Gras themes Lucha Libre.

Voice work is mostly hit, with one big miss: The Riddler. He sounds too much like a high school AV student who thinks he's better than everyone, and not enough like a genius know-it-all. Mark Hamill is great as Joker (too bad its the last time he'll play him), and Scarecrow sends chills at times. What makes these lines work, whether the voice work is bad, or superb, is the writing. Riddler at one point asks a riddle, and his version of the answer is absolutely disturbing. This may be a T rated game, but scenes like this (and the final boss) make you wonder how it is.

Most action games take about 8 hours to beat. Arkham took a little under 24, total. This is well worth the money alone. But, perhaps the most interesting part is that, while not once, do you forget you're Batman, this game would work with Strider, or Shinobi. That says something about the quality of the game. Even if you don't like superheroes, this game is worth a look.

Overall: A

+ Great Production

+ Plays Great, Sounds Great, Looks Great

- Should've been rated "M"

- Riddler sounds like a child

-/+ Sequel?