"I Am Nothing" Chapter One

Chapter One

How long have I been in this city? Was it years? Months? Weeks? The only thing I remember before waking up on the bus to Minxton was the blood on my knuckles from her bruised face. Her tears... oh God, her tears as she begged me to stop. I felt her bones break with her skin, time and time again, blow after blow. There would've no mistaking it for falling down the stairs after that last time. My dear Micah, did I actually kill you that last time before I left?

No, I couldn't have. You threatened to call the police, and I ran away. Some would call me a coward for that. I call her a coward for letting me hit her in the first place. She screamed for me to stop, but never once did she stop me before I knocked her down. I almost thought she enjoyed covering for her scars, or for me. But that night was different. I can't remember for the life of me why she deserved to be punished. That's not the weird part, though. The weird part is that I know it, but something since I got into this city has blocked it out of my mind.

It must have been months. I'd already had my BFA, and I was starting my Masters in Bailey State University. The only reason I started thinking about how long I've been in this city is because it seems so long ago that I enrolled. This was my first quarter back in school, and I barely remember talking to an advisor about my degree. Come to think of it, I don't remember taking an entrance exam for college in the first place. What is wrong with this city? Maybe the air is fucking with my head.

I get off of the public bus, the trash heap that it is, and make my way to the Atrium, a three floored hang out for all of the busy-bodied Freshmen playing foosball, ping pong, video games, or watching mindless liberal drivel. I pass the gym, the radio station, and head for the tunnel system that connects the schools many buildings, making my way to the Arts Center.

“Long day ahead of us, eh?” The voice, a low, almost too deep for a woman's voice, belonged to Katie. She was the type of girl that I'm A Little Teapot was the perfect song for. She was roughly 5'1,” but weighed about as much as I did (roughly 174 at 5'7”). To make the joke that genetics (and, possibly, fast food) played on her, she sounded like a pig. Despite all of this, she was a kind heart, the type people couldn't help but like to be around.

“Don't remind me,” I sighed. “I barely slept last night. Maybe about four hours.”

“Ha! Two!” Katie gleaned, as if it was a contest of who could function on less sleep. Micah did that once. She learned after that. But, the way Katie said it, her blonde hair bouncing like Micah's did that day, struck me. It was almost as if Micah was next to me.

I shook it off as quickly as it came. “Look, I don't have time to talk right now. Katie,” I said with a polite smile. “My advanced drawing class awaits, and I don't want to piss the teacher off.” Before she had a chance to say anything else, I turned to the hallway, to catch the elevator. Unusually, only a minute after pressing the button, the elevator showed up, Rachel Morris waiting inside. Finally, someone I could genuinely tolerate! I related to her in a way. She was a little taller than me, thin, gawky, but her straight red hair and giant grey eyes took away from that fact, as did the scar on her left cheek. She claimed it was from an accident with a broken window, but I knew better.

The only thing that threw me off when ever I saw her were the bruises on her arms and neck. She had no family, no boyfriend, and barely a social life as far as I knew. It didn't help that I potentially knew the truth behind the scar, which only served to confuse me even more. Who did this to her?

“Augh, I'm so damn tired,” she said as the door closed. “I couldn't sleep last night. I must have gotten maybe--”

“Four hours?”

She looked at me, fairly sure I somehow became a psychic. “Yeah, how'd you know?”

I chuckled, trying to not see the eeriness of two people I knew not being able to sleep at the same night as me. “I'm in the same boat. I ended up drawing until 3:00, woke up at 7:00.” Rachel stared at me like the world was about to fall apart. Coincidence doesn't exist in Minxton, even for the most ironically devout Agnostics like her and Katie. For some reason, everyone in Minxton was convinced that everything happens for a reason. I, on the other hand, don't buy into superstitions, believing them to be childish inventions to scare others, much like the boogeyman.

We opened the wooden door to the drawing lab to see the set up of the day. Three human torsos, two of the decapitated, and a cast of Michelangelo's Moses. No doubt, our teacher would tell us stories of how he got these items, and why we need to draw them perfectly. I was usually too tired to listen unless he was teaching us something new. This was the tenth drawing class I've had in my learning career, and I was beginning to think that I'd hear the same things over and over.

I turned my head ever so slightly, and that's when I saw it. Next to the torso with a head, coming from a hole at it's base, was a sticky looking pink tube. It was dripping red from the outside, and seemingly pouring out. As soon as I realized that it was there, I turned to face it.

It was a extra large glow stick, the fluid, still glowing, dripping out. I didn't dare move it, thinking it to be part of the lesson. Find the thing that doesn't fit in, maybe. Who knows? Once the class started, we sat down and started to draw as the professor told us what we were doing anyway. After his speech, he took the glow stick. I swear to God, though, when he did, it was limp, and none of the fluid was missing from it. I shook off my tiredness – that had to be it – and continued drawing.

Horrid Horror Movie Review: Stigmata

Have you ever watched a movie so bad, that you couldn't figure out what was wrong with it until you realized that everything was wrong with it? Despite reviewing bad horror movies, this doesn't happen to me a lot. I mean I can site a few, but over all it's usually one to maybe a few things that make the movie bad, whether it be plot, the science behind it, or characters doing something that goes against themselves. Never have I seen this combination: plot, acting, schizophrenic direction, and music. The link isn't even the worst track, though the fact that only the first bar plays ad nauseam doesn't help. Most of the music is the repetitive screeching of a bad techno track. And, yes, you read that right, Billy Corgan did the music. Sigh... can this guy just ever do anything right? With that note, let's pray that Stigmata isn't going to be a cardinal sin.

We start the movie with Gabriel Byrne playing Father Andrew-- oh, I forgot to mention this. Gabriel Byrne played a priest and Satan in the same year. He plays a priest in this movie, and the Devil in End of Days. Ironically, it was his portrayal as Satan that redeems him. How odd. Anyway, he goes to a church in Brazil to investigate a statue of Mary that's crying blood. Without him noticing, despite watching as it happens, a kid runs up, takes the rosary from the dead priest the statue is crying for, and sells it to a woman, who sends it to her daughter, Frankie. Frankie is a club-going alcoholic, sexoholic, drug addicted atheist. Keep this stereotype in mind (of which group, I have no fucking clue), because it's going to bite us in the ass later on. After waking up alone, Frankie gets a call from her "boyfriend" (they hint that he both is and isn't) and her mom at the same time. Her mom prods her into opening the package, in which Frankie finds the rosary. She then hangs up on her mom, seemingly forgetting her boyfriend was on the other line. I'm surprised I remembered considering just how bland the character was.

Meanwhile, Andrew tells Cardinal Houseman, played by Jonathan Pryce... Reaalllllllly?! Was work that hard to find in the late '90's? Anyway, Houseman isn't convinced that the statue is crying, or that miracles exist (he's Catholic?), and tells Andrew to wait for his next mission. Guess who's going to Frankie's place?

The same night, Frankie is violently attacked by... pigeons? During the attack, her wrists start bleeding. Suddenly, she's in the ER as Billy Corgan skins a cat with a cheese grater. As suddenly as the scene shifts - seriously, who called the ambulance? - she's lucid, and trying to convince the doctor that she didn't do this despite worrying about being potentially pregnant. She's then at home as her best (female) friend waits for her in bed. No, she's not a lesbian, her friend just didn't see the foldout couch in the next room... and she likes to spoon. Frankie goes to work the next day, but suffers an attack on the subway after asking a priest if he's Andrew. She then gets 40 lashes. By 40, I mean six.

Andrew talks to his friend because he thinks he's losing faith. Father Delmonico mentions that he knew this because, "God's here and we know everything." When Andrew asks him what he's translating, he mentions that it's a newly found gospel for the Vatican Gospel Commission. When asked what it says, he says, "I don't know." So much for that "we know everything" bit he said two seconds ago.

Back at the hospital, her doctor tells her its epilepsy. Well, that makes sense... except for the stigmata. She asks if she was pregnant, and this happens:

Frankie: Am I pregnant?

Doctor: No.

Frankie: Was I before?

Doctor: I dunno.

Apparently, after only hours of losing a baby, all signs of it will spontaneously disappear. She returns to work, after having tests that have nothing to do with epilepsy done. She yells at her coworkers to stop whispering about her when Andrew walks in. She cuts his hair, and they talk about the wounds. She mentions she's an atheist, and he attempts to close the case because stigmatics are devout. She goes off to research it herself. After hours of looking at pictures, she goes to the club, where her head starts bleeding.

She runs out of the club, her friend chasing her, as her boyfriend casually glances and orders a beer. That's his character, peeps. Andrew follows her into an alley, where Frankie starts carving into a car with a piece of glass, and speaking another language. Beyond that, I have no clue, because the way it's directed, I feel that Billy Idol is going to pop out and announce that it's a nice time for a white wedding. She collapses, and Andrew takes her to a church where Delmonico is waiting. So... he drove from Pittsburgh to New York?

They nurse her back to health as Delmonico tells Andrew that she was speaking Aramaic, but he doesn't know what she was saying. This is important, not because of the "God lives here, we know everything" bit. The next day, Frankie goes home, and Andrew stops by to see that she's writing on the walls with a marker. After Andrew takes pictures, Frankie collapses, and then goes out for a day with Andrew until she falls due to her feet getting wounded.

Once again getting nursed by priests, Frankie believes she's dying. Andrew emails the pictures to Delmonico, who tells him it's Aramaic, and that it's the Gospel of St Thomas. This is also the same thing that Frankie was saying before, yet Delmonico couldn't translate it because he didn't know Aramaic. Much to Delmonico's chagrin, Father Elliot diMoro sees the pictures and sends them to Pryce. Delmonico calls Marion, the priest of the Church of Deus Ex Machima.

Andrew goes to Frankie's place again where she attacks him for not giving in to her sexual advances. After the attack, she levitates and cries tears of blood. Andrew picks her up from the air, and prays with her, holding the rosary from the beginning of the movie. As he's doing this, Pryce and company burst in and take Frankie, sending Andrew to a church in Pittsburgh. It's here that Marion tells him that Pryce didn't want the gospel out, so he closed the Gospel Commission three years ago... despite it being active in the beginning of the movie. By this logic, Andrew figures out that Frankie is possessed by the spirit of the third priest, the one who died in the beginning of the movie. You read that right, she's possessed by a priest that is causing her bodily harm and making her attempt to rape priests.

I couldn't make this shit up. Yes, I understand that the message is that the priest is supposed to have the "true word" of God, but he possessed her in much the same was a demon would, and is causing her harm as well as making her sin (more than usual). The kicker is that the message is that God is found in us all, yet he's pretty much killing this woman so that the message wouldn't get through. The method is counter productive as well as stupid due to the fact that the obvious does in fact happen: Pryce, thinking she's possessed by a demon, tries to exorcise her. Maybe, just maybe, the priest's spirit shouldn't have done with the theatrics?

After Pryce realizes that she's not possessed by a demon, but by a priest, he tries to strangle her. ... Why not? Andrew runs in and stops him, telling him that he will not be a priest much longer for keeping the gospel a secret. Fact: The Real Gospel of St Thomas is considered Heresy in the Catholic Church. One of the reasons is because the author's true identity has been brought to question. Some of the other gospel's that have been banned contained such lessons like, don't go to church and that after Jesus died, God no longer existed. Some of these books, called the Gnostic Texts are, in fact, being reconsidered in the church. Those that are are obviously not the ones that say God stopped existing.

Moving on, Andrew goes into Frankie's room to see it's on fire. Frankie tells him the secret of the text (surprise, it's "God is within you, not in church"), and he carries her outside where she imitates St Francis od Assisi. Andrew returns to Brazil and finds the original gospel.

This movie is offensively bad. It makes the church look evil for maintaining its belief that a book called into question shouldn't be taken as truth (and, please, let's not argue over religion on this, I'm bashing a bad movie here), much like we'd sue someone for slander for lying about us. The direction changes scenes so fast that you don't know where a scene ends and another begins. And the music... Billy Corgan, for the love of God, stop.

For now, this is the Window Keeper signing of to confess in a church that he watched this movie. God knows I feel like I need it.

Consider the Ride... Taken (YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAH!): The "Marvel Vs Capcom 3: Fate of Two Worlds" Review

Besides school and car issues, I've been busy trying to save the world from a giant, purple, people eater. A succubus, a man that crawls on walls, a green power house, and even the world's most awesome politician were all powerless. Then, by the skin of my teeth, I won using a masked madman, who with the final blow, screamed, "Yo MAMA!" It fell, I did a victory dance. Then I realized something: it only took me three tries, even if the giant had moves that I couldn't avoid.

This is where one would say, "Then I woke up," and it'd all make sense. Unfortunately, my story is true. I saved the world from a planet eater. Of course, this was in a video game. Also, in my defense, yes, the fight was incredibly cheap.

That's the biggest bad thing I can say about Marvel vs Capcom 3. The final battle is cheap and highly improbable for someone out of practice (like myself) or someone new to pick up and play. Yes, you'll build up skills during the course of the game, but here's the trick: the hits are completely unavoidable. He has moves that you cannot block. Period. The last boss can also kill you in less than three hits, at full health, depending on the move, too. Before that, you have to fight two characters at the same time. Capcom has had an issue with cheap bosses before this (Street Fighter 4), and yet, despite my griping, this one is still easier than Seth. Seth took me 20 times to beat... on Easy. Of course, I sucked back then, and Super Street Fighter 4 is less cheap...

In speaking of difficulties, there are no levels for it. At first this didn't make a lot of sense to me, but I figured out why later on. Instead, you have a "Normal" or "Simple" control scheme. "Simple" binds a button to a hyper combo, and binds other buttons to certain, difficult to pull off moves. This does, in fact make the game a lot easier, but still no where near accessible for new players. A big part of this is some balance issues with certain characters. The biggest ones are M.O.D.O.K. and Jean Grey. M.O.D.O.K. can barely pull of a combo because his moves are slow. But, the most unforgiving is playing as Jean Grey: two well timed hits and she's down. This is bad for a fighting game, but interesting for someone who knows how to use her, seeing as she does have some powerful moves. ** EDIT: Yes, there are difficulties. My stupid ass didn't see them at first, but they're the first option after selecting characters. This means I beat the game on normal mode, though, so awesome.

Normally, I don't harp on the bad things in a game first. Why change it up for this? Are my reviewing juices running dry, and I'm turning into a bitter British "Journalist?"

No, it's more simple than that, actually. It's because this game is an absolutely brilliant piece of technology, and I'm turning into a hyperactive British "Journalist." All I have to do is loose my American accent, find a car, and meet up with Captain Slow and a giant smoking baffoon. But, I digress.

I can't argue that the controls, while simplified, are very well implemented, if not dumbed down. We went from six to four attack buttons. Really, this makes sense, considering no one used the weak attacks. To add to this, all of the characters seem to fit into the game. Instead of having three or four Ryu like characters, we have Ryu and Akuma. Though, we still have two Wolverines, only one is faster and has breasts. For the most part, though, each character is different, and plays to how they're supposed to fight.

To add to this, each character seems like they were all a labor of love. She-Hulk and Hulk call each other by their first names, and Jean apologizes to Wolverine for having to fight him. My personal favorite is the character specific banter when starting a match. Especially Deadpool to Magneto. Let's just say that it references one of the greatest and cheesiest arcade game moments in history. It is a little jilting that, once again, there are characters missing from the game that were announced as DLC. It feels like they thought of them at the last minute, and decided to slap them in at the end. But, we do have cameos that are funny, too.

Graphically, it's beautiful to watch. The faux comic style adds to the feel of the game. Sadly, the music is hit and miss. Yes, the "Gonna Take You For a Ride" song returns, but everything else feels stale and sampled. For example, why is Rammstein's "Hallelujah"sampled in Asgard? Lastly, voice work ranges from acceptable to amazing. Nolan North returns as Deadpool, the woman who voices She-Hulk sounds like her (and like she enjoys the script). But, really, Wally Wingert as M.O.D.O.K? No Dee Bradley Baker for Viewtiful Joe (and he doesn't say, "Henshin a Go Go, Baby!" anymore, either). It's not bad, but not the same, or in some cases, the character sounds, well, not like the character. M.O.D.O.K. doesn't have that villainous high pitched voice that he should have.

It's not flawless, but Marvel vs Capcom 3 is definitely a very good game. It's pretty to look at, fun to watch and play, and feels like a labor of love. While still a sequel, it could also been seen as a tribute to MvC2. Chances are, it you're reading this, you're tossed up about it, or actually curious of what I'm going to say. If you're the former, get it... NOW! If you're the latter, why the hell aren't you playing it?

Over all: B+

- Cheap boss battle

- Some questionable characters

+ Most aren't duplicates

+ All feel like they fit in

+ Amazing to play

+ Tributes!

+ ... seriously why are you still reading this review?

Requiem For A Dying Song Playing Game

This week, we saw some big news. The first gameplay of Duke Nukem Forever proving that it should actually be released. Reviews for Killzone 3 and Marvel vs Capcom 3. What, one story rocked the industry so hard, that people only saw this story, and didn't read any further: Guitar Hero is finally dead. ActTard finally decided to put the wailing beast of a franchise to sleep. Being that it was the game that introduced me to games like Rock Band 3, you'd expect me to say a few nice words about it. Here's what I really have to say:

It's about time.

I know how cold that sounds, but let's be honest here, it was on knock-knock-Knockin' on Heaven's Door since they decided that Metallica needs their own game. When they added the band capability, they did it terribly, that people who never played a music game were alienated by it's difficulty. This was prominent with vocals, especially, when Hayley Williams failed at singing her own song. But, that's not the worst of it. Guitar Hero kept finding more nails to hammer in.

By Guitar Hero 5, we saw an improvement with the vocals, but in order to sell games, they had a cast of musicians you could play as. Johnny Cash? As a playable character? Okay, he redefined music, and he was talented. Kurt Cobain... well, he redefined Grunge, a genre that isn't really anything but light punk with alternative rock elements, admitted he had no talent (seriously), then got stoned and blew his brains out. Let's play as him! I mean, in GH4, we had Billy Corgan, who, with his band, made two of the most impacting albums of my generation (Siamese Dream and Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness), but he was wearing that silver skirt, and I'm sure he's scratching his head over what he was smoking that day. Maybe Cobain wasn't so much a step down as it as a sidestep on the same level. Circle-strafing the drain, if you will.

We also had more GH band games. Aerosmith, Van Halen, One Inch Punch... all using the same engine that was inferior to the new engine. By the time GH6 rolled around, no one knew what the expect. Then, we heard Rush's 2112 would be on the disc, in it's entirety (the 2112 story, not the album). Could this be a step in the right direction?

Then, we saw the characters turn into monsters. Judy Nails, for example, the sixteen year old rocker, becomes a Succubus, a demon that has sex with men in their sleep. Hogan, Schultz, Klink... take it away.

T-T-TRRRRRRIPPLE FACEPALM!

Whoever thought this was a good idea, especially when compared to Rock Band's innovation of a new instrument, and a mode that teaches you to play the real instrument, needed to either be fired from the team, or, less cruel to him, jettisoned from the Earth itself. I can respect that they wanted to add a story, but making the characters turn into monsters? Hell, didn't they learn that people didn't like Judy Nails going from cheerful pop girl to Suicide Girl reject? Hell, didn't they know to stop when Pandora's ever changing appearance seemed less shocking, and more like they inspired Lady Gaga? People want to rock, not worry about when they're turning into Vlad-ass the Impålør.

Harmonix did it right, if you ask me. They gradually improved a game that was damn good to start, and added fairly minor changes. They also listened to the fans. They didn't give us monsters, or guest stars (not counting Green Day or The Beatles). They gave us new innovations, and something we wanted since the first game: a keyboard!

Call me bitter, but I'm glad Guitar Hero is gone. That's not to say that I can deny it's legacy, though. Harmonix, who did the first two games, knew what they were doing when Guitar Hero started. You can't blame the game for the developers following the demands of a publishing company so far out of sync with its fanbase as to not know what the game needed. If anyone is to be laughed at or chastised, it isn't GH, or Red Octane. It's Activision. That isn't to say, though, that GH didn't go on entirely too long. Oh, not at all. Need proof? How's this? This is supposed to be Taylor Swift.

Yeah. Good riddance.

To Err is Human... Or Alien Technology

I was supposed to review Dead Space 2, and, even though the demo was pretty bad, I was looking forward to it. I had the Collector's Edition reserved before the "Your Mom" ads hit. After the ads hit, I refused to review it out of a now personal bias, due to the fact that the ads have all ready polluted me against the game. One of the things I learned in school is not to advertise outside of the target audience, and the "Your Mom" ads blatantly target children. But, I soldiered on, and played the game, due to the fact I couldn't cancel the reserve (it was online). Maybe the game will be good, but I still wasn't going to review it.

Instead, I played one of the most infuriating parts I played in video games for my friend who designs Indie games, and my editor. Five enemies that take out a quarter of your health in one hit, that are so fast that you can't see them. Worse, they stay hidden so you can't shoot them, and the power to slow them down is worthless due to the fact that they still hit you for full damage, despite not having enough force to (physics is a bitch, I know). I had to fight five of these bastards before progressing in the game, and I couldn't even shoot them in time. I've played parts like this before, so it doesn't sound so bad that it'd break the game, right?

This was in the beginning of the game. That's a problem. It's worse when you consider that not only is a part that hard in the beginning of the game, it's also one of the hardest parts of the entire game. The boss battles are simple, not quite quick time events, but rail shooter levels. They're only made difficult by the sheer fact that you will not know what to shoot at certain points, because no effort is made into showing you what's going on, other than drawing attention to the creature attacking you. Gone are the yellow sacks of dismemberment that glowed, replaced by floating gas cans that look nothing like exploding gas cans due to them being a flat brownish red. Of course, the challenge is then taken when the game tells you to shoot the cans after to die.

Level design would be okay, if they didn't do one of two things: repeat the same level design as the first game, or remake levels from a far better game: F.E.A.R. 2. This is especially shown during the school level. It replicates all of the key moments from F.E.A.R. 2, complete with the stage. The only thing missing was a Necromorph screaming "The ass! He's behind the ass!" When you have to rely on a better game, and hoping people forgot about it, to make a stage "better" by duplicating it, you're doing something wrong. That's not to say don't use it for inspiration, just don't do the same damned thing.

Also a bad choice is making enemies that swarm you in the beginning of the game when you should only have a weapon with a slow firing rate, knowing full well that preorder DLC will give them an overpowered weapon. Again, in the beginning of the game, I was swarmed by creatures to the point that I couldn't kill them all. Then, I used the pre-order bonus Force Gun, and obliterated them. The over reliance on DLC is bad enough without making a part specifically meant for a DLC weapon. There's all ready a problem with incomplete games being shipped out only to have the DLC complete the story (see the Mass Effect 2 review).

Finally, the story. I'm not going to get into the whole "Nicole is now an evil bitch that Isaac hates" part, because that is inherently funny just by that thought alone. No, let's talk the MacGuffin-- I mean Marker! In the first chapter, it is said no less than 10 times that the Marker is man-made. This isn't counting the intro, either. Right in the beginning of the second chapter, this line of dialogue happens:

Isaac: Why are these things here?

Daina: The Marker is powerful Alien Technology.

You have got to be kidding me. You seriously reversed everything you just told me last level with that sentence. And that gets worse, too. SPOILER ALERT! HERE BE SPOILERS TO AN INCREDIBLY STUPID PLOT POINT!!! After Daina betrays you, she tells you that Isaac made the Marker. No, game. You have just destroyed three games worth of info, especially Dead Space: Extraction when they mention that the Marker is centuries old. And you did this in less than an hour. At least God of War waited three games before saying Kratos never got help from the Gods in the first place.

Keep in mind that this isn't a review. This is pointing out some things so glaringly obvious that it makes the game terrible. And yet, critics loved it. Take it from a gamer; this isn't what people want. Give us a fun game, a good story, or both. Not the same recycled trash that's been chewed up and pissed on.